Debt Free Kid

My kid turned eight years old a couple of weeks ago. I booked him an amazing party at the local laser tag place for under $400. He invited eleven friends, and they all showed up! He got a lot of Lego, which he was thrilled with. I got him a new two-wheel bike, because his old one was getting too small. I also bought him new soccer cleats and shin guards, but I would have bought them regardless of his birthday. It was an expensive weekend! Spending on my kid now has its own category in my spreadsheet. I track all the expenses in their own categories (daycare/camps; sports; RESP; life insurance - something I would not purchase now but I bought the policy when I was less informed, and it is universal life, so I keep paying for it - only $24 a month; misc - includes birthday party and more frivolous expenses like tiny shopping sprees). I add up all the amounts and apply it against the amount of child support I get each month. If there are any funds leftover they go into his savings accou...

Last week was a crazy one. It was a quiet week at work after crazy the week prior, but my home life turned upside down. Literally. We had to be out of the apartment by Saturday, which was the same day of Bean's fifth birthday party, his first big birthday party ever. Up until this year I did not have the nerve or the cash to pay for a party for twelve kids, but this year I took a deep breath and went for it. The week started at the mechanics, where I forked over yet another $200 to have the alternater replaced. This was necessary, since I had already started loading up the car and taking loads to second-hand stores, the consignment shop, and the free market. I had a car-load of toys packed in, to go to Bean's dad's in the big city, when the car decided to die in an intersection not far from home. By mid-week the car was repaired, and I was shuttling loads of mostly toys to the house at which we are staying until end of July. By Friday the movers came and took all the bi...

My blogger friend Grace  struck a chord with me today when she posted about being the "go-to" person in the family, especially when it comes to money. Currently I am financially responsible for only myself and my son. However if something bad happens and I can no longer work and earn, it will force his dad to become more responsible with his own time and money, if possible. So in an indirect way I am the go-to parent, even though at this point in time no one is actually asking me for money. I get bills that the dad doesn't: Daycare - which is subsidized but there is a monthly bill to pay plus I have to meet with the social worker twice a year to insure continuation in the program Dental and prescriptions - which I have benefits to cover but I have to pay the bill before I can get reimbursed. School - always seems to be nickle and diming me for fundraisers, PLUS I have to come up with a lunch the kid will actually eat, which I try to keep cheap and healthy ...

The first commenter at this post at singleparents.about.com is a stupid, ignorant piece of sh*t. He (she? must be a he) advocates a site called childrenneedbothparents.net, which I only had time to skim through, but this post in particular caught my eye and pissed me off even more. I hate the way the information is presented to accuse a mother of denying her children a father in their lives. I can't think of too many women who would disallow visitation, unless the father was seriously abusive and jeopardizing his children's lives. If we want to go by half-truths, stereotypes, and out-of-context "facts," then I propose that if children are fatherless, it is because the father couldn't handle the responsibility and left. Or was forced to leave because of abuse. It takes a lot more than two parents to make a family. And a family arrangement does not have to be of a two-gendered nuclear type in order to lead healthy children into adulthood. Do you know how man...

I'm so used to discussing money now that I have this blog. All my debts and savings are out there for the world to see - and to judge. Not many people who know me personally know about this blog. Some know that it exists, but I haven't widely passed along the link. I'm afraid of being judged. The issue came up the other night when I was on the phone with my son's father (SF). We can talk openly and honestly about a lot of things, but we have a really unhealthy aspect to our relationship where if something goes wrong and we start fighting (which happens every other month or so, for various reasons), everything we have confided in each other comes out as ammunition in an argument. More so for him, because I am more open and have very few secrets. And I talk a lot. And I usually say too much. We were having an unusually civil conversation on the phone the other night, where I let down my guard and told him about the big chunk I have paid off the LOC. After all, I'm pro...