Reading this post by Frugal Dad today reminded me of how grateful I am to have done it my way, against all odds, despite all criticism.
I was thirty years old when I found myself pregnant by my ex. We had reconciled briefly, but I was in the process of getting rid of all my stuff and moving to Thailand for eight months or longer. I had already arranged a leave of absence from a position I despised at the university, and was looking for a geographical cure for my misery. I was already thirty, with a B.A. in International Development and no overseas experience under my belt. It was time to go.
But there were other plans in store for me. Under my belt was a little sprawn, who would inspire me to stop smoking, stop living by my four credit cards, and get real about life. I mean, GET REAL.
I found out I was pregnant a week before I left for Thailand. I felt it was too late to change my plans, my job was given out on contract and my apartment was already rented to new tenants. Trying to arrange a quickie abortion - something I didn't even consider - would delay my trip by a couple of weeks, at least.
I did what I do with everything, I dove right in head first and dealt with it all as it came.
Sure, my situation wasn't ideal. I was single, temporarily unemployed, and up to my seventh chakra in debt. I had years of counseling ahead of me, if I were ever to feel comfortable in my own skin. I had issues and scars. I had little support from my family.
But I was thirty, not a kid in high school, with a B.A. and a lot of love to give. Having my son forced me to take a real look at the mess I called my life and quickened me to straighten it out. It took time, it's taking time, but it's happening. I can feel it. I'm smoke-free over three years now, getting myself out of debt, added the Honours to my degree, and I'm a lot more self aware, as well as a lot less self-conscious. Becoming a mom did wonders for my self-esteem. I'm learning patience ... stability ... integrity.
I guess my point is that there is no ideal time to have kids. Sure, plans are great, but life is what it is. It's only life.