Friday, March 27, 2009

I did it my way

Reading this post by Frugal Dad today reminded me of how grateful I am to have done it my way, against all odds, despite all criticism.

I was thirty years old when I found myself pregnant by my ex. We had reconciled briefly, but I was in the process of getting rid of all my stuff and moving to Thailand for eight months or longer. I had already arranged a leave of absence from a position I despised at the university, and was looking for a geographical cure for my misery. I was already thirty, with a B.A. in International Development and no overseas experience under my belt. It was time to go.

But there were other plans in store for me. Under my belt was a little sprawn, who would inspire me to stop smoking, stop living by my four credit cards, and get real about life. I mean, GET REAL.

I found out I was pregnant a week before I left for Thailand. I felt it was too late to change my plans, my job was given out on contract and my apartment was already rented to new tenants. Trying to arrange a quickie abortion - something I didn't even consider - would delay my trip by a couple of weeks, at least.

I did what I do with everything, I dove right in head first and dealt with it all as it came.

Sure, my situation wasn't ideal. I was single, temporarily unemployed, and up to my seventh chakra in debt. I had years of counseling ahead of me, if I were ever to feel comfortable in my own skin. I had issues and scars. I had little support from my family.

But I was thirty, not a kid in high school, with a B.A. and a lot of love to give. Having my son forced me to take a real look at the mess I called my life and quickened me to straighten it out. It took time, it's taking time, but it's happening. I can feel it. I'm smoke-free over three years now, getting myself out of debt, added the Honours to my degree, and I'm a lot more self aware, as well as a lot less self-conscious. Becoming a mom did wonders for my self-esteem. I'm learning patience ... stability ... integrity.

I guess my point is that there is no ideal time to have kids. Sure, plans are great, but life is what it is. It's only life.


Seriously,
Karissa


4 comments:

  1. Good for you! I guess it's true what they say that everything happens for a reason :-) Just think where you might be today if Bean never happened to you. Great post, thanks for sharing! :-)

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  2. Karissa,

    Sometimes babies come when you need then the most. My DD was a huge surprise after being told @ 21 that the chances of having a baby were very slim... At that time I was just out to have fun, had flunked out of University once and quit the second time. ( her father and I broke up when she was two, I wanted more he wasn't ready) I went back to school a year after I had her and never looked back. She was my kick in the pants. If I did n;t have her, I wouldn't have my degree, my house or my car. I'd be a 39 years old party queen without any responsibilities.

    Some days its hard being the only parent, but like I say to my friends, I'd rather be single and lonely at times, than be in a relationship and lonely...

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  3. You have made lemons out of lemonade and have every reason to be proud of where you are today. Nice post!

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  4. That is really inspirational.

    And it's true -- there's no perfect time to have kids. To wait to have money, or time or to settle, is to wait too long and end up having to adopt like many women I see here in the richer areas who are career oriented.

    *shrug* It was their choice in the end but I can't help but wonder if they regretted waiting so long

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Thanks for commenting! I will have it published as soon as I can ~ Karissa